The Desperate Need For Dads

by Dr. D. James Kennedy                                                                                                                     Vol. XI, No. 8, September 1998

Bob Carlisle's surprise hit song, "Butterfly Kisses," captured America last year with his heartfelt lyrics about a father’s love for his daughter. While Carlisle never intended to produce the song he wrote late one night as a gift for his daughter, it has nonetheless made millions choke with emotion as he recalls "butterfly kisses after bedtime prayers...."

That the song so resonated with Americans speaks to the hunger our culture has for godly fathers -- men who raise their children in the "nurture and admonition of the Lord." Such men are increasingly absent from America's families. David Blankenhorn, author of Fatherless America, reports that more than 36 percent of children in America were living apart from their fathers in 1990 -- more than twice the rate in 1960. He further reports that some 50 percent of children will, before age 18, spend a significant part of their childhood years apart from their fathers.

Carlisle himself reports evidence of the absence of fathers. In his book, Butterfly Kisses, he tells about mail from young girls who want him to marry their moms. "That used to be a real chuckle," he writes, "because it's so cute, but then I realized they don't want a romance for Mom. They just want the dad who is in that song, and that just kills me."

The absence of fathers is a crisis not just for little girls and boys who grow up without the love and strength of a father, but for our culture at large. According to Dr. James Dobson, "our very survival as a people will depend upon the presence or absence of masculine leadership in millions of homes.... I believe, with everything within me, that husbands hold the keys to the preservation of the family."

But don't look to popular culture for favorable role models of fathers. From Father Knows Best to TV characters such as Homer Simpson and Al Bundy, we've come a long way in the denigration of dads. That’s why Father's Day is such a good idea. This annual celebration of fatherhood is, itself, a daughter's legacy to a father who hung tough during very trying times. Mrs. John B, Dodd ... came up with the idea of Father's Day in 1909. She did so out of gratitude and in recognition of her father, a widower who raised six children alone on a farm in Washington state. Because of his selfless commitment to her and her siblings, the first Father's Day was observed on June 19, 1910, in Spokane, Washington. Later, in 1966, President Lyndon Johnson made it official by a presidential proclamation designating the 3rd Sunday of June as Father's Day We who are fathers have an awesome responsibility. We stand in loco Dei, in the place of God to our children. I urge those of you fathers who still have children at home to make a determination to be godly fathers. Raise your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord; teach them from the Bible; and pray with and for them that they may trust in Christ, or grow in Him if they already know Him.

This is what is desperately needed in our time and what will have the greatest impact on the future of our country and your family. I urge you to make the decision: Yes, I want to be a godly Dad.

[Reprinted from the June 1998 Impact, the newsletter of Coral Ridge Ministries, P.O. Box 1940, Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33302-1940.