Review: Backus, William and Chapian, Marie, Truth Talks

New York: Inspiration Press, 1995.                                                               Vol. VIII, No. 5, May 1995

A current debate among Christians is over what counseling methods are biblical. Backus and Chapian agree that cognitive therapy is biblical, based on Ephesians 4, which teaches that we should tell ourselves and others the truth. Many problems – depression, anxiety, fear, and anger – result when we tell ourselves lies, they say.

For example, someone plows into the back of your car, and you think, "This is awful. I'm late for an appointment, and now some careless individual has run into the back of my car." You may wind up angry and anxious.

But you are calmer if you tell yourself the truth: "God is in control. The situation is not ideal, but it is not awful. The person who hit my car probably has insurance, and if not, I do. I may be inconvenienced, but people will understand that I am late because of an accident. My car can be repaired. These things happen since we are all imperfect. Thank you, God, that no one was hurt."

This current volume is a republishing of two previous books by the authors: Telling Yourself the Truth and Telling Each Other the Truth. The second part of the book shows how biblically we are to "speak the truth" to each other. For example, the authors say that using "I" statements is not sinful. So that allows us to say, "I would not want to do that." This guards against feeling you must do anything someone else asks you to do. People who feel they must say yes will end up being angry and passive aggressive, and they may miss deadlines because they have more to do than is humanly possible.

Being truthful with others, Backus and Chapian argue, also involves being direct. If you think your house is too cold you might say to your wife, "Are you cold?" But being truthful means you will respond, "I am cold." If you want to join a health club, you don't say to your spouse, "You need some exercise." Instead, you say, "I feel I need some exercise, and I would like to join a health club." There is even a chapter dealing with difficult people. The writer suggests that when people complain to you, if the complaint is legitimate, agree with them. And if you're at fault in another area, add to the complaint. For example, if you are a pastor, and a parishoner says, "That was a bad sermon." Ask, "What did you not like about it?"

"It didn't make sense," responds the parishoner.

You respond by saying, " I can see why it didn't. I had a lot of people in the hospital this week, plus lots of prospects to visit. I wasn't prepared. I can see why you didn't understand it. Furthermore, I rambled a lot." This takes the wind out of the complaint. The parishoner may respond, "I know you work very hard, Pastor. We need to get you an associate to assist you in your work."

Cognitive therapy can be used by pastors in their counseling. This would involve asking questions, such as, "What were you thinking when this happened? What was going through your mind when he said that?"

From there the counselor would encourage the counselee to focus on the truth. To think truthfully, the counselee would say to himself, "This person may think I am a dud, but my value is not based upon pleasing other people and having other people think highly of me. God believes I am valuable, and pleasing Him is what I need to do. Furthermore, it's not important that others think highly of me or agree with me."

If one feels that others must affirm him, when they don't he will probably feel angry and depressed. Truth therapy works.

Truth is the best policy, say the authors, and I believe they are right. The writers hold to the inerrancy of Scripture, and they stress the importance of staying in the Word so that the reader knows the truth.