Pastors: Recommendations on Marriages

by T. C. Pinckney                                                                                       Vol. XI, No. 9, October 1998

The March 1998 issue of Journal for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood contains an abbreviated version of an article by David Blankenhorn titled “Making the case for marriage vows.” Blankenhorn points to two recent “basic innovations” tending to undercut marriage vows: (1) the downplaying or complete avoidance of any pledge of marital permanence and (2) the shift toward self-composed vows. He notes that self-composed vows suggest a sea-change in attitude. The old vows were formed by society and presented to the couple, “signifying the goal of conforming the couple to marriage. The new vows are created by the couple and presented to society, signifying the goal of conforming marriage to the couple. ... the essence of this change reflects a dramatic shrinking of our idea of marriage.”

Reprinted below are Blankenhorn’s four proposals to correct the current problems:

"First, individual pastors, and ultimately denominational leaders, should reclaim the historic responsibility inhering in communities of faith to promulgate and maintain the integrity of the marriage vows exchanged in their churches. Second, pastors should agree to marry couples in their churches only when at least one member of the couple is also a member of the church. Third, pastors should require all couples who marry in their churches to participate in a serious program of church-sponsored premarital education. And finally, individual churches should formally embrace the goal of strengthening marriage and lowering the divorce rate in their congregation, specifically through on-going programs aimed at marital enrichment and "marriage saving,” and generally by seeking to create a marriage culture within the faith community that is distinct from the divorce culture in the larger society." [The full text of this article is available at http://www.firstthings.com/issues/nov97]

[The Journal for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood is published quarterly and is excellent. Subscriptions are available for $15 per year by calling 888-560-8210 or by e-mail at cbmwoffice@aol.com or on the web at www.cbmw.org.]