Ways to a Happy Marriage

                                                                                                                                          Vol. XXII, No. 2, February 2009

There are no laws or rules that will guarantee a happy marriage, But there are practices and principles that will help. It is obvious that a couple – husband and wife – should resolve to keep growing together for as long as they live. A wise counselor has formulated nine rules that, if followed, will go a long way in making possible a happy marriage:

Expect imperfection. Nobody is perfect, so don't expect your spouse to be perfect in any area.

Fight monotony. Nothing brings dissatisfaction more than boredom. So work at the job of making even the daily repetitive tasks provide a bit of variation.

Respect differences in taste, temperament and thought. In fact, encourage each other in developing those characteristics that add variety to living.

Develop common interests. In the midst of varying likes and dislikes, it is important for husband and wife to have some similar interests. Work at finding and growing those to the benefit of both.

Establish real partnership. Vocations may be radically different. But there should be some activities, hobbies, crafts, arts or something in which there can be a devoted unification of the abilities of both. Find at least one area in which there can be an equally joint devotion.

Be generous. Real love is both demonstrated and developed by giving. Love in marriage is consummated by the giving of each self to the other. Generosity in all matters is the mark of true love.

Keep in-laws out of the picture. A real part of a happy marriage is a pleasant, even warm, relationship on both sides, with both parents and siblings. But a happy marriage is a tiny circle which includes spouses and children. And that circle will be properly maintained only if there is no one else who crowds in to seek change, or give directions.

Respect personal privacy. A happy marriage depends to some extent on the willingness of each partner to invite the other into one's most inner being. But even so, there are always areas into which another should not come. That should be respected.

Be truthful. Nothing destroys confidence and trust in marriage more than deceitfulness and lying. Be able to look one another in the eye. Tell the truth.

[Reprinted from the April 2008 issue of The Watchman, M. O. Owens, Jr., editor. Subscriptions are free, though of course they need donations. Owens Ministries, Inc., P.O. Box 2066, Gastonia, NC 28053]